Take You to the Gay Bar
by pollyglyph
Summary: Iceburg and Paulie go for a night out at the gay bar.


As they stand in line, Paulie falls silent. He fiddles with his cigar.

Iceburg nudges him. Paulie turns to look at him, and Iceburg smiles.

"You're nervous aren't you?" Iceburg asks.

"Sort of." Paulie shrugs.

"That's alright. It's ok to be nervous." Iceburg wraps his hand around Paulie's. "What's going through your mind right now?"

Paulie adjusts their hands so their fingers lace between each other's. "A lot of things. Memories. Worries."

"This is quite difficult for you, isn't it?"

He takes a last draw at his cigar before stubbing it out in his pocket ashtray. He stows the rest of the cigar in his top pocket for later. "Yeah, but it's something I want to do. Can't just keep running away forever."

Iceburg presses a quick kiss to the back of Paulie's hand.

"Well, ready to head in?" Iceburg asks.

Paulie nods.

* * *

"Doing alright?" Iceburg calls back. He leads Paulie behind him, squeezing them through the busy crowd.

"Honestly, I was expecting to walk into a room full of depravity," Paulie says.

He glances around the room as they move through. Though it's so busy it's hard for him to see much further than a few feet in front of them.

"Packed and noisy, but it's more or less just a standard bar with a couple of rainbow flags," he continues. "Some pretty lewd moves on the dance floor but no worse really than what you'd see at Kiwi and Mozu's on a Friday night."

Iceburg laughs. "What were you expecting this to be, a fetish club?"

Paulie cringes. "Just don't ever take me to one of those, alright? I think I'd die."

They make it to the bar front and wait in line.

"Don't worry, I won't," Iceburg replies. "Although you could pick up a thing or two there about rope work, you know?"

Paulie blushes. He leans in close to Iceburg so only he can hear. "If you really want me to tie you up then I guess I won't say no, but I'm not about to do it right there in a whole room full of other perverts."

"_Other_?" Iceburg laughs. "Well, is that you or me you're referring to?"

"Ah, evening Mr Iceburg, Mr Paulie," the bartender greets them.

"Busy night?" Iceburg asks.

"Yeah, sort of. Emporio Ivankov is making an appearance with her Newkamas tonight."

"Oh, well, that'll be quite an experience for you then Paulie," Iceburg says, turning to pat his shoulder.

Paulie looks blankly back at him. "An _experience_? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Anyway. What'll it be Mr Mayor?" the bartender asks.

"An old fashioned for me, and for Paulie…"

Iceburg glances at him trying to read his expression. Paulie pulls his best poker face.

"A piña colada?"

"Nope," Paulie says.

"A strawberry daquiri then."

Paulie smiles at him. "Didn't guess it first time tonight, but two tries isn't bad. I still win though. So drinks are on you tonight."

They get their drinks and manage to find a couple of empty seats together at a table.

Paulie takes a sip of his cocktail. "Don't even care if this is a gay as fuck drink, it's fucking delicious."

Iceburg chuckles. "Well, if you can't drink gay drinks in a gay bar…"

Paulie slides his arm around Iceburg. "I know I was nervous about this, but it's nice feeling that we can do this in public without people making a fuss. Guess that's what it's all about right?"

"Isn't it nice?" Iceburg kisses him. "Not least of all because we don't have to worry about the press stopping us. The bouncers here are very good at keeping the cameras out."

"Oh God, yes. I hate getting stalked by them. Take a photo or don't. Don't make us fucking pose." Paulie takes another drink. "Our relationship isn't a damn performance for them."

"It's fun messing with them though."

"Maybe for you. I hate looking stupid."

Iceburg pokes him in the side and Paulie jumps.

Iceburg giggles. "Maybe you picked the wrong man to fall in love with then."

Paulie shrugs. "Yeah, maybe I did. But God knows I'm stuck with you now."

They lean in and kiss more deeply this time. When they break away, Paulie feels a little heady.

He pulls Iceburg closer to him and looks him in the eyes seriously. "You know I love you really though?"

"I know." Iceburg kisses him again.

They almost don't even notice as a man greets them as he passes their table.

"Oh hi boss. And boss."

Iceburg and Paulie break away, and give him a slightly sheepish wave as he walks on by.

"Can't believe how many people here are our own employees," Paulie says. "It's like a shipwrights' convention in here. Is it always like this?"

Iceburg laughs. "It has always been a popular haunt for the shipwrights. I haven't been in quite a few years now though myself."

"But I guess you don't all just stand around talking about ships though?"

"Mm well, you can stand around in here talking about ships all night if you really want."

"Oh, right. Sure." Paulie nods.

Iceburg runs a hand down Paulie's arm. "Like you said, it's really not much different from any other bar. It's just nice to feel like you can be yourself and not worry about it. And if what you really want to do is talk about ships, then go ahead and talk about masts and riggings to your heart's content."

"Yeah, I guess," Paulie sips his drink.

"Still feeling nervous?"

"A little self-conscious still."

"That's ok," Iceburg says. He reaches to squeeze Paulie's hand. "These things just take time. But you'll get there."

Paulie squeezes back.

"You're always so patient," Paulie mumbles. "Um, thanks for that."

"Well, it can take a while, the process of self-acceptance," he says. "A strict and conservative upbringing can't have made that easy for you."

"God." Paulie drinks the rest of his drink to the bottom.

"Sorry Paulie, did I say too much?"

"No, you hit the nail right on the head." He sighs.

Iceburg leans in close to him and rests their heads together. "You deserve a lot of love, you know?"

"I'm finally not scared of that any more at least," Paulie replies. He sighs again. "It's everything else I'm still working on."

"Hey, Mr Iceburg, Paulie!"

"Lulu, Tilestone," Iceburg waves them over. "Care to join us?"

As the two foremen make their way over to them, the loud music starts to fade out and the fluorescent lights in the bar dim down. Soon, the only thing still illuminated is the stage at the top of the dance floor.

Iceburg gets up to offer one of them his seat, but Lulu and Tilestone both shove him back down into it.

"Is something happening?" Paulie whispers nervously.

"Oh! _She_ must be coming out!" Tiletone shouts from behind Paulie, nearly deafening him. It reverberates throughout the room.

Iceburg shushes him. Lulu digs him in the ribs.

"Tilestone, you're way too loud!" calls a heckler from the far side of the packed room.

Musicians in lingerie and shamefully not much else start to proceed onto the stage, taking up their places at their instruments. They do a quick sound check and once they're ready, a large figure slinks out from behind the heavy velvet curtain.

Paulie stares up at the stage dumbfounded at one of the most sexually confusing entities he has ever witnessed. And he was a man who'd spent a good five years not knowing whether he wanted to fuck his bastard of a best friend, his beloved boss, his boss's sexy secretary, none of the above, or, God forbid, maybe all three of them. He practically had professional experience being sexually confused.

"Good evening, Water Seven," she starts.

Everyone in the room starts to applaud and cheer for her loudly.

"I've heard a lot about this city, but I admit I've never been here before," Iva purrs through the loud speakers. "So, of course I've never performed here either and still you greet me on this stage with this warmest of welcomes. My Water-Water Candies, I can't thank you enough for having me tonight. Please do be gentle."

Paulie tips back the last leftover drops of his daquiri. Iceburg glances over at him and runs his hand over Paulie's thigh. He looks back at Iceburg with a hesitant smile.

"Alright?" Iceburg mouths.

Paulie nods and takes his hand.

"Tonight, for all of your fabulous eyes here only, the Queen of Kamabakka Kingdom, Emporio Ivankov live on stage bitches! Me and my Candies are here, we're queer and we're not just stopping by Water Seven to go shopping. Though I have heard your shopping district is killer."

She taps on her microphone. "Anyone know where I can get a pair of kinky heels in a size twenty-six? And if you're wondering, no, this isn't one of your swish festival masks. I'm just this gorgeous naturally."

A man in hot pants that left nothing at all to Paulie's imagination starts to strum a few chords on a guitar to set the mood.

"There aren't many cities in this cruel queerphobic world with a gay bar to call their own," she laments. "But oh, Water Seven is an island that belongs to this world's _Paradise_ region. And from what I've seen so far, it's a paradise indeed."

As she struts across the stage, commanding his and the rest of the room's full attention, Paulie doesn't quite know where the latex bodysuit ends and the fishnets begin. But he knows he can't look away.

"A city that welcomes everyone no matter what flag the ship you arrive on is flying. It doesn't matter whether it's a Jolly Roger, a Marine seagull or a big fat gay pride flag!"

Iva throws her arms into the air and everyone cheers.

"I've heard this city is run by democracy. A place where the gays have a say. I don't know about all of you, but this revolutionary queen is so hot for liberal politics. How are you all enjoying your dirty, sexy freedoms of social equality? It's practically orgasmic, right? Oh Water Seven! Oh yes! Give me more freedom of choice and self-expression oh!"

Iceburg chuckles a little beside Paulie. There are laughs and cheers from the crowd now in equal measure.

She places a hand on one hip, and with the other, she swings her microphone. "Not that democracy's faultless though. Especially not when the bastard candidate still gets in any way." She tuts. "And damn it girl if there haven't been enough manipulated elections to make the whole political system no better than a complete farce in the wrong hands. It might work here, but if we're ever really going to get equality our only option is to overthow the whole corrupt World Government entirely. "

Her tone is increasingly sharp as she continues. "And on that note-"

A member of her band walks over and taps her on the shoulder and whispers in one ear.

"Sorry my lovelies!" She laughs awkwardly. "We're here to party not protest! A Queen could get caught up ranting about politics all night if she's not careful. But I'll keep the politics talk for your mayor."

She raises her hand to shade her eyes from the heavy stage lights and scopes around the room.

"And speaking of your mayor, I've heard whispers around the bar that he's in here himself tonight. Where are you my sweet publicly elected candy boy?"

Iceburg stands up and raises his hand and a spot light quickly turns to him. The occupants of the bar all go wild in applause as he humbly waves back around the room. Paulie claps for him louder than anyone.

"And is that your boyfriend with you?"

"Husband!" Iceburg shouts back through cupped hands.

The room goes wild again.

"You have marriage equality here too? Oh don't make me climax already, we're just getting started!"

Paulie goes bright red. He stays seated, but reaches and takes Iceburg's hand.

"Let me get a better look at you two." Iva's head starts to grow, and she bats her oversized lashes as she peers their way. "Oh aren't you both just adorable?"

Iceburg sits back down beside him and kisses him gently.

"Functioning democracy, an openly queer Mayor, and a yard full of the finest shipwrights in the world, in more ways than just one." She winks. "Right all my sexy dock workers? My! My heart is already pounding and the night has just begun! Hee haw!"

She points dramatically towards Iceburg. "The Queendom's doors are always open for political congress Mr Mayor."

"Well, Iva. I'm always open to schedule talks here too!" Iceburg shouts back.

"What was that?" She cups her hand around her ear.

Tilestone leans in between Iceburg and Paulie. "Mr Iceburg said you're all welcome in Water Seven any time!"

As Paulie fears for the state of his eardrums, he realises that Tilestone's usual tone actually _was_ his indoor voice.

"A political alliance established already? How wonderful! Ha ha!" She snaps her fingers. "Well, shall we get on with the show?"

Everyone cheers as all the musicians start to play.

"Oh you're all practically gagging for it!" Iva teases. "Let's go Candies!"

* * *

They walk home to the headquarters hand in hand with a light rain falling overhead. For the city of water, light rain was no more an inconvenience than no rain at all.

"Honestly, she kind of blew my mind a bit…" Paulie shakes his head. "I see what you meant now by an _experience_. Crude as hell, sure. But honestly, at times it felt like she was speaking right to me."

"She spoke to me too. And not just when she actually spoke to me," Iceburg chuckles a little. "I feel like I could do with brushing up a bit on my speech writing."

"I like your speeches," Paulie replies. He nudges Iceburg. "But she's right. This is a really liberal city, with a gay bar and a gay Mayor."

He stops himself and Iceburg in their tracks.

"And he's my husband." He reaches and scratches his neck. "Wish I could tell that scared kid in the closet it really does get better eventually."

Iceburg lets go of his hand and turns Paulie towards him. He cups Paulie's face in both hands, and runs his fingertips over the stubble.

"You know, Paulie? When you're gruff, it's cute. But when you let yourself be vulnerable like this, I find it absolutely charming."

Paulie blushes.

"Of course, when you're shy it's also very sweet too."

Iceburg kisses him, and Paulie gets thoroughly lost in it this time. In the feel and the taste of Iceburg's lips and his tongue pressing against his. He brings his hands up to Iceburg's face too in reply.

Paulie doesn't care who sees them. He doesn't even care if there are press rats skulking about the backstreets waiting to scoop photos. This was the man he loved, the man he's loved for so long and the man he'd already decided he was going to spend the rest of his life with. They'd all have to get fucking used to this.


End file.
